My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
