1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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