he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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