So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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