physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
