DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
