Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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