Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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