but the lizard people decide everything anyway
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
