guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You ate ashes out of my bong
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
