I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
