I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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