have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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