Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
