he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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