i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
