Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
