You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
