You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
