matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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