you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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