so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
