i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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