It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
