yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
