Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
