I want to walk on stilts...naked
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
