I don't usually arrange sex via text message
oh god the rape fog is back!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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