What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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