Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
