I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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