did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
