hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
