Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
