ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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