yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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