In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Small penises have feelings too.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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