I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
