Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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