remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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