at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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