His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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