Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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