also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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