Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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