i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
