Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
