Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
