i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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