A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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