you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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