I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
