It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
